my commencement speech to you
There’s been a lot of talk out there about some of the recent commencement addresses. And while I believe that we are all entitled to our own opinions, there are some things that no longer need to be tolerated. People in positions of power are extremely influential; sometimes this is used for progression and sometimes it’s used to support ideals that minimize the importance of certain groups of people. I refuse to stand by while others are ousted just because of who they love or what they look like. And I refuse to let anyone with a penis tell me what I can and cannot be.
So, here is my commencement speech to you…even if I never get to meet you, here’s what I’d say to you right now:
“I don’t know how to convey in words the amount of praise you deserve. For graduating, yes, but also for everything else you’ve simultaneously been doing as you’ve walked this path.
It still catches me off-guard when people question our worth as people living in these bodies, or when people assume they know us and what we’ll like, or when people are able to purposefully hurt us, or when people speak for us. It still makes me gasp when someone can be so sure in their conviction that our bodies belong to them and that the Me Too movement is something to minimize.
And I know, I know, I should probably get used to it because it’s not like it’s going to stop happening anytime soon. But I don’t want to have to get used to anything like this, no one should have to get used to this nonsense. The audacity of anyone to belittle us and not revere us, in these bodies, as anything but the most compelling, stunning, and special kind of love to take human form is beyond my comprehension.
I’m here to remind you all that the daily grace you’ve given to those who are misguided in what you are capable of does not go unnoticed. And while some may still refuse to see you for everything you are, in this moment right now you are surrounded with the most powerful kind of love and I hope you can feel just how incredible and magical you are.
I don’t know what kind of career you want to have, or how many kids you want to have, or if you want to have kids at all. I don’t know the story of your ancestors, or the very real obstacles you’ve overcome to get to this moment. What I do know is that while we haven’t walked the same path, we share a commonality of having to show up differently than our male-identifying counterparts. And because of this commonality, we can decide right now that we refuse to move forward without making sure that we’re all elevated.
Because if even just one of us is not free, none of us are free. If one of us is diminished to the notion that their worth is based solely on if they bear children or not, then we all are diminished. If one person is demonized because of who they love, we’re all demonized.
How we decide to move forward right now is important for all of us, but even more so for how the world treats those who come after us. So I’m choosing to move forward with love exuding from every inch of me. And I’m choosing to continue to show up for myself first, so that I can then show up for everyone else, too.
You are more than what any vocation could ever give you. You are more than anything that no longer serves you has led you to believe. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of being respected, you are worthy of equity, regardless of what small-minded individuals are confusing with a higher power’s guidance.
I hope that the thoughts you share with the world paint the most beautiful landscape you could ever dream of. I hope your thoughts turn towards love and support for yourself, always. I hope you encourage yourself to explore your thoughts, to express them with sincerity for who you are and what you represent.
I hope you know that you are important and we need you.
There is nothing more beautiful than a truly free woman/person. May we all encourage ourselves to find freedom within, and may we all walk hand-in-hand with the ones next to us on their journey towards that same thing. We all must rise together. We all deserve to live our life full of love, and in integrity with our purpose. Period.
I say this a lot, but it is such an honor to have been part of so many of your lives. So, go on and have 10 babies or 0 babies, marry the absolute love of your life or don’t, love women or men or both or neither, be CEOs and mechanics and doctors and teachers and estheticians and poets; run for president (please lol). Whatever you decide you want, if you stay true to YOU and YOUR HEART you will have accomplished more than so many in this world.
I will forever support you, and I am endlessly proud of you.”
With love,
Dr. Ashley
